It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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