saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
