I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize