So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
