so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize