Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
