Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
