Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
