I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
