She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
