I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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