2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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