You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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