R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
