Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
