dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize