In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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