She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
