I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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