i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
