I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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