Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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