what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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