Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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