What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
