Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
