they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
