if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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