so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
