he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
