So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize