dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize