Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize