yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
