Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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