do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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