My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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