I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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