I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
