If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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