i barfeds in our rink
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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