Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
