Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
