he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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