i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize