Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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