Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
