So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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