Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My breasts were aching with rage.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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