ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
