If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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