So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize