It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
