Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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