In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize