No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
