i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i've created a new STD.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
