She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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