My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
