Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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