half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
