my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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