you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
