i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize