It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
