i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This house was built for laser tag.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
